Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles, and kindnesses, and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort.
The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives.
The shaping of our own life is our work. It is a thing of beauty or a thing of shame, as we ourselves make it. We lay the corner and add joint to joint, we give the proportion, we set the finish. It maybe a thing of beauty and of joy forever. God forgive us if we pervert our life from putting on its appointed glory.
A man's life is interesting primarily when he has failed- well I know. For it's a sign that he tried to surpass himself.
Half of our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks.
Life is too short for hate and not long enough for love...and the great use of life is to spend it to something that will outlast it.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
LIVING TOGETHER
LIVING Together: Does it works?
One warm evening, I passed a pizza shop and decided to pick up something to eat. Going inside, I noticed a young woman in line ahead of me playing with three children who appeared to range between 2-6 years old. They pulled on her legs . The woman whom I judge to be about 23, obviously love the children. She picked them up and hugged them and kissed them.
Quite impressed, I asked if the children were hers.
Yes she said
Your quite young to have three children! I said.
Not only I am young, she said, “but each of these children has different father.”
So you’ve married three times? I asked.
No she said, “ I prefer not to marry. I’ve just lived with these mans.”
Why haven’t you married? I asked, continuing my indiscreet interrogation.
“Well as you know , “She said, “when u buy a dress, you try it out first to see if you like it and if it fits in you. You only buy it when you are sure it’s the one you want.”
But what does buying a dress have to do with not getting married? I asked.
“You have to try it first, madam,” the woman said. “ Try it out first.”
“TRY IT OUT FIRST”
Those words still ring in my ears. “Try it out first” means living together without commitment or whatsoever. The purpose is “to see whether you were compatible or not. To paraphrase the words of that youthful mother, “ to see if He is the one I want.” And this is the experience of millions of couples!
Trying it out is a sensible it may seem a first glance that there is a problem, right? You cant try out a dress or a jeans, and if you don’t like it you can try another and another and none of the clothes will feel hurt over the way you treated them. You can even throw the clothes, and it will never cry, because dress or jeans don’t have feelings. But people do.
This idea of “trying it out first” has a number of other serious disadvantages.
First of all , most of the women find it difficult to maintain long –term “try it out first” relationships. We need emotional security that commitment to a relationship brings. Otherwise, we get the distinct feeling that “this dress or this jeans doesn’t fit me “, and the relationship deteriorates into a miserable burden.
FINANANCIAL DISADVANTAGE
There is also a financial disadvantage for people who are living together especially those who have no stable job, those unemployed and no source of income and those who still relied on there parents . Most of the couple who are together before marriage leads to more stable marriages but some of the study is significantly shows the opposite evidence that living together before marriage contributes to less stability in marriage but according to some researchers they have found that living together leads to less interaction between the partners , more disagreement , and again general instability.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Another disadvantage for women -an actual danger, in fact-is the high rate of domestic violence among couples who are just “living together”. Studies have shown that domestic violence is nine times greater for these women, including a much greater risk of death. Some of the studies estimates that hitting, shoving, and the throwing of objects occur five times more often in “try it out first” relationships than in married relationships. According to the studies the incidence of depression is five times greater among women who are “just living with” their partners than it is for married women. These women also have twice the incidence of mental illness. And the feelings of insecurity thus generated have an important part to play in how the relationship as a whole will go. And according to some studies that the likelihood of infidelity is twice as greater for couples who are living together than those who are married. And according to the national sex survey, men are four times more likely and women eight times more likely to be unfaithful. On other hand some studies are shows that the commitment of marriage gives greater security to the relationship.
MARRIAGE AS GOD PLANNED IT
The best relationship are based on Marriage as God planned it. The Bible says that God created human beings in His image. We all desire a close union with another person. That’s why God created the first humans male and female, one man and one woman. God made us so that we attract one another, sometimes with something as simple as a glance or gesture. We feel this attraction from time to time. We also complement each other physically. God created men and women with the capacity for sexual attraction and intimate sexual relationships. For this reason a man will leave his parents and be united to his wife , and they will become one flesh. This is the most intimate of all human relationships, through which a man and woman come to know each other to a degree that they could not experience by simply “living together” does not provide the atmosphere of confidence and commitment that’s required to establish a deep and permanent relationship.
Instead of going around experimenting throughout life, I prefer to give myself to a sacrificial love that is committed, regardless of the difficulties that may arise.
How about you?
One warm evening, I passed a pizza shop and decided to pick up something to eat. Going inside, I noticed a young woman in line ahead of me playing with three children who appeared to range between 2-6 years old. They pulled on her legs . The woman whom I judge to be about 23, obviously love the children. She picked them up and hugged them and kissed them.
Quite impressed, I asked if the children were hers.
Yes she said
Your quite young to have three children! I said.
Not only I am young, she said, “but each of these children has different father.”
So you’ve married three times? I asked.
No she said, “ I prefer not to marry. I’ve just lived with these mans.”
Why haven’t you married? I asked, continuing my indiscreet interrogation.
“Well as you know , “She said, “when u buy a dress, you try it out first to see if you like it and if it fits in you. You only buy it when you are sure it’s the one you want.”
But what does buying a dress have to do with not getting married? I asked.
“You have to try it first, madam,” the woman said. “ Try it out first.”
“TRY IT OUT FIRST”
Those words still ring in my ears. “Try it out first” means living together without commitment or whatsoever. The purpose is “to see whether you were compatible or not. To paraphrase the words of that youthful mother, “ to see if He is the one I want.” And this is the experience of millions of couples!
Trying it out is a sensible it may seem a first glance that there is a problem, right? You cant try out a dress or a jeans, and if you don’t like it you can try another and another and none of the clothes will feel hurt over the way you treated them. You can even throw the clothes, and it will never cry, because dress or jeans don’t have feelings. But people do.
This idea of “trying it out first” has a number of other serious disadvantages.
First of all , most of the women find it difficult to maintain long –term “try it out first” relationships. We need emotional security that commitment to a relationship brings. Otherwise, we get the distinct feeling that “this dress or this jeans doesn’t fit me “, and the relationship deteriorates into a miserable burden.
FINANANCIAL DISADVANTAGE
There is also a financial disadvantage for people who are living together especially those who have no stable job, those unemployed and no source of income and those who still relied on there parents . Most of the couple who are together before marriage leads to more stable marriages but some of the study is significantly shows the opposite evidence that living together before marriage contributes to less stability in marriage but according to some researchers they have found that living together leads to less interaction between the partners , more disagreement , and again general instability.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Another disadvantage for women -an actual danger, in fact-is the high rate of domestic violence among couples who are just “living together”. Studies have shown that domestic violence is nine times greater for these women, including a much greater risk of death. Some of the studies estimates that hitting, shoving, and the throwing of objects occur five times more often in “try it out first” relationships than in married relationships. According to the studies the incidence of depression is five times greater among women who are “just living with” their partners than it is for married women. These women also have twice the incidence of mental illness. And the feelings of insecurity thus generated have an important part to play in how the relationship as a whole will go. And according to some studies that the likelihood of infidelity is twice as greater for couples who are living together than those who are married. And according to the national sex survey, men are four times more likely and women eight times more likely to be unfaithful. On other hand some studies are shows that the commitment of marriage gives greater security to the relationship.
MARRIAGE AS GOD PLANNED IT
The best relationship are based on Marriage as God planned it. The Bible says that God created human beings in His image. We all desire a close union with another person. That’s why God created the first humans male and female, one man and one woman. God made us so that we attract one another, sometimes with something as simple as a glance or gesture. We feel this attraction from time to time. We also complement each other physically. God created men and women with the capacity for sexual attraction and intimate sexual relationships. For this reason a man will leave his parents and be united to his wife , and they will become one flesh. This is the most intimate of all human relationships, through which a man and woman come to know each other to a degree that they could not experience by simply “living together” does not provide the atmosphere of confidence and commitment that’s required to establish a deep and permanent relationship.
Instead of going around experimenting throughout life, I prefer to give myself to a sacrificial love that is committed, regardless of the difficulties that may arise.
How about you?
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